Sneak Attack

 It's not every night you get assailed in your sleep by your own forearm. 

I awoke (rather abruptly I might add) to a piece of meat pummeling me across the face. I was consciously aware of three blows and the corresponding sound that came out of my mouth as they struck: "MMMFT! OOOMFT! MMMFT!" 

There may have been more impacts but they were in my sleep. And I know it was my own arm because I caught it in the act. I don't know what it was up to but now I don't trust it. It meant bizniss too. Sharon blissfully slumbered through the sucker attack on her completely innocent husband. Maybe it was better that way, because if she jumped into the fray in the dark it might have turned out even worse for me before she realized it was my own arm jumping me. 

I am left with a fat upper lip and a nearly bloodied nose from the ordeal. And just a touch of can't-quite-put-my-finger-on-it paranoia. 

I'm afraid to go back to sleep now in case it catches me again unawares.